Burne Jones

Heaven forbid we should end the evening reflecting on our own mortality.

Squeakquel

March: the month God invented to show people that don't drink what a hangover is like.

Hey, Moon Pie

Hi, I'm the small package that good things come in.

Exclusive Penis Heat

combing your beard is like masturbating but you don't have to stop. ever.

Same Vein

Real mature, Shakespeare.

That Fire in Your Apartment Was No Accident

Say no, talk low, let her go.

They Both Reached for the Gun

Stay away from jazz and liquor and men who fight for fun.